you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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