He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
