Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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