just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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