i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
