my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
