ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
