hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
