STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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