I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
