It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
