All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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