My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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