when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
