I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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