So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
