Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Will exercising make me less horny?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
