I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
