I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
