Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
