Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Um, that's called prostitution

(773): View more from Illinois

Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money

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(909): View more from California

We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.

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(703): View more from Virginia

i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!

(804): View more from Virginia

Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!

(703): View more from Virginia

well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.

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(406): View more from Montana

It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet

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(410): View more from Maryland

halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt

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(770): View more from Georgia

If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?

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(786): View more from Florida

You’re not his type

(305): View more from Florida

I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type

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