my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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