There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
