So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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