I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
