i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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