Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
