She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
