i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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