Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
