You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
