hell yes lets make some ravioli
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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