Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
