if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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