Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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