i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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