I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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