piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
