forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
