GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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