Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
