one two three fourrrrnication!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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