They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
