swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
