Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
