I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
