I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
