we're chasing vodka with high fives
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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