? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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