Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
