I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
